Sweet 15: Food, boys and music - by Nora Ali

"Sweet 15" is a series of posts written by past participants of the Distinguished Young Women/Junior Miss program reflecting on their 15-year-old selves. Get ready for some wise, witty and seasoned advice from women of all ages and backgrounds. They have gained perspective on their teenage years from diverse life experiences and will share with you through this fun new series!

Interestingly enough, one of my high school teachers had his students write letters to their future selves, and I just received mine in the mail. Literally, a letter straight from the source: 15-year-old Nora, commenting on her current situation and her hopes for future Nora. From my 2-page hand-written note, I've come to the conclusion that my cares as a teenager were pretty similar to my cares now... food, boys, and music. Typical of a teenager, and typical of Nora Ali. Let's explore these further:

1. Food. My very first sentence of this well thought-out letter to myself was "I'm full of Chinese food." Apparently, I didn't care so much for "first impressions" on my future self. I also didn't care whether or not I offended future Nora: in the middle of my note, a snippy "I hope you don't get fat" rang loud and accusatory. Thank you, past Nora for this sensitive insight! Past Nora used to be able to eat whatever she wanted, but now I have to think "is this brownie really worth it?" "Will my pants fit today?" There are those skinny girls who say "it's never worth it," but I thought this back then, and I still think this now: a brownie, mac and cheese, a juicy steak... it's ALWAYS worth it. The only difference now is that the brownie will go straight to my love handles. Past Nora, I hope you appreciated the food you could eat whilst remaining so tiny!
2. Boys. In my note, I immediately transitioned from pondering whether or not my older sister would be married in 5 years, to wondering if I would have a date to prom. Seriously, past Nora? You're reflecting on your family's life changes and then you wonder who you're going to prom with? Back then it was "Omg will someone ask me to prom???" and now it's "Omg will someone ask me to marry them???" Past Nora, I hope you realized that none of the boys from high school ever mattered, and any stress you encountered as a result of them was utterly pointless and totally pathetic!
3. Music. According to my note, my mid-teens were defined by songs with names like "Miss New Booty" and "Get Low"... seemingly fluffy, empty "music" which lacked any real content. Thankfully in our current times, we've progressed to more meaningful hits with true artists like Miley Cyrus and Rebecca Black. Right. Past Nora, I hope you realized how pure and un-autotuned music was back in your day... and how "normal" pop artists were in the pre-Gaga era! 

While the world has changed since I was 15 and my concerns back then were far less significant than they are now, it seems as though I myself have not changed very much.  I still love food, I still concern myself with boys (well, "men" now I suppose), and music is still a big part of my life. The one thing I did learn from my past self was that I really knew how to enjoy life - I ended my note with "Don't get too stressed out, and just be happy. Everything happens for a reason, and everything will be taken care of." Sure, I fretted over who my prom date would be, but at least I had this little twinkle of wisdom to offer my future self. Thank you, past Nora, for keeping it real.

Nora Ali is a graduate of Harvard University with a BA in Statistics and Quantitative Finance. She is currently working in New York City as a Pan-Asian Equities Financial Analyst. Originally from Mendota Heights, Minnesota, Nora represented her state at the 2007 America’s Junior Miss National Finals and was selected as America’s Junior Miss that year. The program is now known as Distinguished Young Women.

Sweet 15: Falling into place - by Kelli Croyle

"Sweet 15" is a series of posts written by past participants of the Distinguished Young Women/Junior Miss program reflecting on their 15-year-old selves. Get ready for some wise, witty and seasoned advice from women of all ages and backgrounds. They have gained perspective on their teenage years from diverse life experiences and will share with you through this fun new series!

Being fifteen can be quite intimidating. As one of the youngest students walking the halls of a fairly large high school, I would often find myself feeling inadequate or out of place. During the first day of class, I found out very quickly that it wasn’t the “cool” thing to do to answer questions in class, show concern about grades, and strive to be your very best. If you did these things, you were suddenly tagged the teacher’s pet. Not only was I picked on for being the teacher’s pet, I always made sure I spoke to those who were not considered part of the “cool” crowd. Often those peers were either physically disabled or part of the special needs classroom. I made a conscious effort to befriend every one; especially those who were shunned by the majority of their peers. One day, however, I experienced the very opposite. In a lunchroom full of students, primarily juniors and seniors, I found myself humiliated and lying face down on the cafeteria floor. Unfortunately, my fall was not an accident. My fall was intentionally caused by a student. In the heat of the moment, I felt myself demoralized wishing I could run straight home. Picking myself up, humiliated beyond words, I walked back to my seat.

From my point of view, being driven and ambitious is exactly the way a teen should be. Among all of the things you should concern yourself with; it should most definitely be success in school. I entered my freshman year with high hopes of something new. I was actually “growing up”. After all, I would be driving by the end of the year. I was no longer in middle school. I was part of something bigger and better. Little did I know, it would sweep me off my feet, and I would be lying on my face feeling inadequate and just not good enough? To be quite candid, especially looking back on it as I watch my 17-month-old son run around my living room, I was EXACTLY who I needed to be. I was driven, eager to learn, ambitious, and most importantly, who I wanted to be. Eleanor Roosevelt once said “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.  I could not agree more.

I want to encourage you to define who you are, be who you are, and never question it. Be confident in what you have to offer the world. Each and every person has something special to make this world a better place. Walk the halls of your high school with confidence and high expectations for yourself. In the end, it will be much more beneficial than being part of the “cool” crowd.

Kelli Croyle is an honors grad with a BA in mass communications from Bellhaven University. She is a certified Pilates instructor and resides in Tuscaloosa, Alabama with husband, Brodie, and son, Sawyer. Originally from Mississippi, Kelli represented her state during the 2005 America's Junior Miss National Finals and was named America's Junior Miss that year.

Sweet 15: Whispers - by Jesika Harmon

"Sweet 15" is a series of posts written by past participants of the Distinguished Young Women/Junior Miss program reflecting on their 15-year-old selves. Get ready for some wise, witty and seasoned advice from women of all ages and backgrounds. They have gained perspective on their teenage years from diverse life experiences and will share with you through this fun new series!

I just turned 30 this year. Upon finding my first grey hair I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “Gee, I’m not THAT old am I?” So maybe being 30 is not THAT old, but compared to where I was when I was fifteen, I can say I have learned a thing or two.

Picturing my crush coming down the hall, walking towards me, if only someone would have whispered, “Smile and say hi…” Or when I looked at my homework and before I decided to put it off someone would have said, “Don’t procrastinate, cause the bad habit only carries on into college and beyond if you don’t kick it now!” Or when as a freshman I made the soccer team with very little soccer experience, and after a season of playing only a little chose to take a break in the off season someone would have said, “You’ll be happier next season if you take the time to practice more now…” And upon getting the assigned book in my English class that was over 300 pages, if someone would have said, “You just might like it so READ IT!”

And then I realize, oh wait, my parents DID tell me those things! Maybe they weren’t there to whisper into my ear right in the moment, but they were there. So honestly, even knowing that any teenager reading this might tune out completely just by reading the words, parent andlisten in the same paragraph, I have to admit I wish I would have listened more to my parents! And while learning from your own mistakes works, I learned later in life, that it is WAY easier to learn from someone else’s mistakes if you can. You save yourself a lot of pain that way! And though it may be hard to believe because some parents seem far removed from “now day” they HAVE been where we are. So to my 15 year old Jesika I say, they really do know what they are talking about!

Jesika Henderson Harmon is originally from St. George, Utah. She graduated with honors from Brigham Young University with a degree is English and Dance. She currently resides in Mesa, Arizona with her most amazing husband, Robbie, and is mother to the most wonderful three children, Bree (5), Gabe (3) and McKay (1). Besides spending her time with them, she volunteers as the Director of the Distinguished Young Women of Arizona State Program, teaches dance, and works with the youth in her church. She loves to dance, run, swim, hike, do yard work, and cook healthy food. Jesika was named America's Junior Miss 2000 following the completion of the 43rd America's Junior Miss National Finals.

Sweet 15: Clarity through tragedy - by Madison Leonard

"Sweet 15" is a series of posts written by past participants of the Distinguished Young Women/Junior Miss program reflecting on their 15-year-old selves. Get ready for some wise, witty and seasoned advice from women of all ages and backgrounds. They have gained perspective on their teenage years from diverse life experiences and will share with you through this fun new series!

Starting my sophomore year in high school, I was smooth sailing. I had a good role in the school musical, I was doing well in all my AP classes, and I even had a new boyfriend—secretly, of course, since I wasn’t supposed to date until I was 16. But he was a football star! What’s a girl to do?!

But that year threw me for a loop, as life tends to do when we are coasting through it. On January 14^th of that year, my very dear friend Layne Woolley, who had been battling cancer for two years, passed away. It felt like I had been punched in the gut, the wind completely knocked out of me. Suddenly, everything that had been muddled and dramatized in my 15 year-old mind came into focus. I didn’t care about prom or petty squabbles between peers because I had just lost a friend.

While I wish no one the ache of that loss, I do hope that every 15 year-old gets to reach a point, that magical moment of clarity, when the truly important parts of life come into focus. When my world was rocked, that important part was healthy and reliable friendships. I had no choice but to lean on my closest friends for consistent friendship.

Now I know that during high school, finding these kinds of gems can be so challenging. I remember. It was only a couple years ago! Girls can so easily be catty towards one another, and communicating with guys at that age can sometimes be like having a conversation with a chair. But there is no better secret weapon to fight off the evils of loneliness, low confidence or even depression than a dependable group of friends. Once you have a solid foundation of a great support team underneath you, you simply cannot fall. Just make sure that these people are listening, caring, making you laugh, and motivating you to be the best version of yourself. Those are true friends.

Looking back on myself as a 15 year-old, I now realize what an incredible blessing it was to have those kind of true friends around me during an experience that I still consider way beyond my years. To each and every person reading this, I urge you to check the friends with whom you associate. If they have your back through the lowest lows, and help celebrate your highest highs, then count your blessings. Next, make sure to go out there and be the kind of friend that you’re lucky to have.

Madison Leonard is currently a junior Music major at Pepperdine University in Malibu, California. Originally from Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, she is enjoying the wealth of opportunities and experiences available near Los Angeles and studying abroad, most importantly, the beach. Outside of music, she spends her time writing, hiking, or doing anything near the ocean. She looks to go on to get a Masters of Music degree after undergraduate study and to continue pursuing her passion of singing. Madison was named the first ever Distinguished Young Woman of America (formerly America's Junior Miss) at the completion of the 2010 National Finals.

Sweet 15: Marching to the beat - by Chuti Tiu

"Sweet 15" is a series of posts written by past participants of the Distinguished Young Women/Junior Miss program reflecting on their 15-year-old selves. Get ready for some wise, witty and seasoned advice from women of all ages and backgrounds. They have gained perspective on their teenage years from diverse life experiences and will share with you through this fun new series!

Ah, to be 15 again.  Wait, not really.  I don't really want to go back to being 15 again: worried that my parents were way too strict, fretting that I'm not in the popular crowd, always wishing I were prettier, smarter, richer.  Anything-er.  And all those cliques.

Things don't really change that much.  I frequently talk to my friends about how ridiculous adult life is - we never left high school.  You have the richer crowd with the fancy cars and homes.  You have the know-it-alls who like to tell everyone the right answer to everything.  You have the wannabes who keep trying to get lucky enough to be in the "popular" group.  And you have everyone in between, trying to strike a balance between fitting in and marching to the beat of her own drum.  PTAs, country clubs, churches, community organizations, businesses, exercise classes, and all of Hollywood - they're all just big, fat high schools with more money and years under the belt.

That's the bad news (insert evil laugh here.)  The good news is that everyone is learning the same lessons, over and over again.  One of them is to be happy with who you are.

My sophomore year, I was feeling so geeky and unpopular.  I went to an all-girl school and lived far away from most everyone else in my class.  Top it all off, my parents didn't want me to do sleepovers, dates, nothing.

So I got the brilliant idea (or idiotic urge, you choose which) to skip school for a day with my friend Cassie.  She was older (did I mention I was also younger than everyone in my class because I skipped the 2nd grade?), more experienced, and way, way cooler than me.  She was American Idol; I was the school talent show.  I so wanted to be American Idol.

Crazy thing about brilliant ideas - you need a foolproof plan.  Stealing across half an acre of green grass in front of the principal's office window to get to my school bus at the end of the day?  Not so foolproof.  Pretty much half the school saw me, let alone the principal.  To add insult to injury, we didn't even do anything fun; we just walked around a bit, then sat at a diner while Cassie chatted with her boyfriend.  Somehow, this is not what I had in mind when I wanted to be "cooler."

After getting caught, being put on academic probation, and having my semester grades in every class drop a full grade (that means every A became a B, every B a C and so on) - I learned a classic lesson.  In comparing myself to others, I made myself feel so low that I did something stupid to be "cooler."  Instead of trying to fulfill an outside perceived judgement, a more important question for me to pose was - what did I think of myself?  Instead of "does anyone like me?" I changed the question to "do I like me?"  Liking who I was would be a heck of a lot easier than doing a song and dance to be liked by anyone else.  Marching to the beat of many other drums could get really confusing; marching to the beat of my own drum would be much more doable - something I still work on to this day.

Chuti Tiu is an actress, writer and producer living in Los Angeles with her husband, actor Oscar Torre.  Chuti most recently starred in the television shows Weeds, In Plain Sight and Southland.  She is also a business developer in the anti-aging field.  She produced her first screenplay, Pretty Rosebud, and it will be making the film festival rounds in 2013.  Pretty Rosebud centers around finding and following your own truth, not the opinions of others. Chuti represented Wisconsin during the 1987 America's Junior Miss Scholarship Program and was selected as America's Junior Miss that year.