Sweet 15: Food, boys and music - by Nora Ali

"Sweet 15" is a series of posts written by past participants of the Distinguished Young Women/Junior Miss program reflecting on their 15-year-old selves. Get ready for some wise, witty and seasoned advice from women of all ages and backgrounds. They have gained perspective on their teenage years from diverse life experiences and will share with you through this fun new series!

Interestingly enough, one of my high school teachers had his students write letters to their future selves, and I just received mine in the mail. Literally, a letter straight from the source: 15-year-old Nora, commenting on her current situation and her hopes for future Nora. From my 2-page hand-written note, I've come to the conclusion that my cares as a teenager were pretty similar to my cares now... food, boys, and music. Typical of a teenager, and typical of Nora Ali. Let's explore these further:

1. Food. My very first sentence of this well thought-out letter to myself was "I'm full of Chinese food." Apparently, I didn't care so much for "first impressions" on my future self. I also didn't care whether or not I offended future Nora: in the middle of my note, a snippy "I hope you don't get fat" rang loud and accusatory. Thank you, past Nora for this sensitive insight! Past Nora used to be able to eat whatever she wanted, but now I have to think "is this brownie really worth it?" "Will my pants fit today?" There are those skinny girls who say "it's never worth it," but I thought this back then, and I still think this now: a brownie, mac and cheese, a juicy steak... it's ALWAYS worth it. The only difference now is that the brownie will go straight to my love handles. Past Nora, I hope you appreciated the food you could eat whilst remaining so tiny!
2. Boys. In my note, I immediately transitioned from pondering whether or not my older sister would be married in 5 years, to wondering if I would have a date to prom. Seriously, past Nora? You're reflecting on your family's life changes and then you wonder who you're going to prom with? Back then it was "Omg will someone ask me to prom???" and now it's "Omg will someone ask me to marry them???" Past Nora, I hope you realized that none of the boys from high school ever mattered, and any stress you encountered as a result of them was utterly pointless and totally pathetic!
3. Music. According to my note, my mid-teens were defined by songs with names like "Miss New Booty" and "Get Low"... seemingly fluffy, empty "music" which lacked any real content. Thankfully in our current times, we've progressed to more meaningful hits with true artists like Miley Cyrus and Rebecca Black. Right. Past Nora, I hope you realized how pure and un-autotuned music was back in your day... and how "normal" pop artists were in the pre-Gaga era! 

While the world has changed since I was 15 and my concerns back then were far less significant than they are now, it seems as though I myself have not changed very much.  I still love food, I still concern myself with boys (well, "men" now I suppose), and music is still a big part of my life. The one thing I did learn from my past self was that I really knew how to enjoy life - I ended my note with "Don't get too stressed out, and just be happy. Everything happens for a reason, and everything will be taken care of." Sure, I fretted over who my prom date would be, but at least I had this little twinkle of wisdom to offer my future self. Thank you, past Nora, for keeping it real.

Nora Ali is a graduate of Harvard University with a BA in Statistics and Quantitative Finance. She is currently working in New York City as a Pan-Asian Equities Financial Analyst. Originally from Mendota Heights, Minnesota, Nora represented her state at the 2007 America’s Junior Miss National Finals and was selected as America’s Junior Miss that year. The program is now known as Distinguished Young Women.

My Favorite Distinguished Men - by Veronica

Lately, it seems as if this blog has been contributed by multiple entries from my fellow Distinguished Young Women about boys – how to pick them out, waiting for Prince Charming, and more, because let’s face it, boys are a very popular subject! So, I figured I’d hop on the boy bandwagon and discuss some distinguished men that have influenced both myself and others throughout the span of their lives.

1. Tim Tebow – Known for his incredible football skills just as much as his faith, this man has well more than enough distinguished qualities. Tebow was a football all-star in high school, and then moved on to be quarterback for the University of Florida, where he led them to the national championship and won himself the Heisman Trophy. Once he graduated, he was drafted by the Denver Broncos, where he spent the last season demonstrating his unmatched ability at both rushing and passing the football. Tebow recently signed to the New York Jets, where he will continue making a splash in the NFL. However, Tebow has definitely become quite the talk and a controversy, which seemingly makes him even more attractive. He has received both praise and criticism for never denying his faith, something that shows his loyalty and devotion. Not only is he a talented quarterback and is distinguished with his amazing athletic abilities, but his sharing of his Christianity in clinics, hospitals, orphanages and more makes him an all-around phenomenal human being. Ever since Tebow entered the NFL, he became associated with the term, “Tebow-ing”, where during games, he bends down on one knee and prays. Tebowing is something that fans and non-fans alike have found themselves doing (myself included!). Tim Tebow is not only a Godly and devoted man, but a talented athlete who will continue to demonstrate his athletic ability with some of the most successful football players for years to come.  

2. Nick, Kevin, and Joe Jonas – Considering I was absolutely smitten with the Jonas Brothers when I was younger, and even saw them in concert for my 16th birthday, I had to include my favorite boy band to this list. Not only are they adorable and talented musicians, but they are known for their wholesome image as well. Coming from a religious family that included a pastor father, the Jonas Brothers wore purity rings in order to stay pure until marriage and set themselves apart from a great deal of society. It was this group of young men that even inspired me to purchase a purity ring, which I still own and wear to this day. Not only did they start their own charity, Change for the Children foundation, in order to support programs that motivate children who face adversity to succeed, but they also support and advocate for a multitude of other philanthropies. Perhaps what makes this esteemed group of young men so notable is that Nick, the youngest member of the group of brothers, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. However, instead of letting this defeat him, he has used it as a platform to reach out to a multitude of children, and even testified in front of the U.S. Senate to ask for more diabetes research funding. This group of boys will forever hold a special place in my heart, and I probably will always have a little crush on Nick Jonas. No matter how famous they get, they always lived by their family motto , “Live like you are at the bottom even if you are at the top,” in order to keep them grounded and always remind them to keep working hard to be successful and influential young men.

3. Chet Townsend – Perhaps my favorite and most distinguished member of this list is my very own father. Not only is he the absolute hardest working person I know, but he is such a devoted and dedicated member to my family. He has always encouraged and supported me in all that I do, he has been an excellent role model, and has provided me with some qualities that will help me to succeed in life. As a commercial fisherman, he is constantly on the job. Whether he wakes up at 2 AM to go out and provide my family with a source of income, or is slaving away constructing pots in the yard, or selling lobsters with our family seafood business, he is never taking it easy. I can only dream of being as hard working and accomplished as he is, and his work ethic is something I try to instill within myself. Despite his tough and hard-working qualities, his heart is absolutely one of the best I have ever known. He is sensitive and loving and no matter how hard he has worked during the day, he looks forward to coming home and putting his chef skills to the test, constantly creating delicious meals for my family. My family will forever be something that keeps me grounded and that gives me something to work towards, as I want nothing more than to make them proud and to give back to them all that they have done for me. I am eternally grateful to them and blessed beyond words to have such loving family members by my side in all that I do. 

Veronica Townsend is a college freshman at the University of Delaware in Newark, Delaware majoring in Fashion Merchandising. Originally from Dagsboro, Delaware, Veronica was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Delaware for 2011. Learn more about Veronica here!

Four Letter Words That I Use in College - by Amanda

When I started looking for colleges, all I wanted was somewhere different. I had spent almost fifteen years with the same people doing the same things in the same way. I was left with two choices: the school three hours from home with some of the same people, or the school that requires three flights to get home with one person I barely knew. Stay in the frigid north or join the football obsessed south. No visit. No orientation. No idea. But I wanted change. I needed change. I came to Huntingdon College in the hope that I would experience new things. Through college I have found that four four letter words have changed not only my college experience by my life overall.

BOLD

Be bold in all that you do. Get out of your comfort zone! Try something new! The first two weeks being at college I remained completely sheltered and stayed in my room. I saw a poster for rush week for sororities. I didn't know what to expect, but I had to escape the misery that was building up from my solitude. I put some cute outfits together and went through rush week. I met several girls from the different sororities and forced myself not to be shy. I ended up pledging Chi Omega. Joining a sorority has definitely been one of the best decisions I have made whilst at college. There have been so many opportunities that I've been afforded through my sorority. Even though I'm scared of heights, I jumped off of a cliff-like rock at a sisterhood event. Being involved in a sorority has made me more fearless, more bold. 

  

LEAD

Find something you're passionate about and take the lead! Find a community service project you want to be a part of and take the reigns! Get involved with the student government on campus. People will notice those who take a stand and lead a group of their peers to accomplish a common goal. Leading is the best way to learn, and that's exactly what college is about. If being a leader isn't something you're used to, start small. I've never really been much of a leader, but I decided I wanted to change that, but I wasn't sure where to start. I ended up becoming the treasurer of Freshman Forum, an event planning governmental organization specifically for the freshman class. It's a small leadership role, but it will lead to more demanding leadership roles in my future.

LOVE

I have had a couple boyfriends in my life, but I was never really known for being surrounded by guys. I was never the girlfriend, always the friend, and there was nothing wrong with that. It gave me time to focus on academics and excel in extracurricular activities. So I thought that I would continue this lifestyle, because I was pretty successful in college. I had planned on not dating in college. That seems rather unrealistic when you think about how college is generally a four year process, but it was my plan, and I took it very seriously. But that kind of went out the window pretty quick. I met a guy and the plan had to change.  I changed my plan not for the guy; I changed the plan for me. He makes me happier than I can remember being. College is a stressful time, and honestly, life after college is going to be stressful too. So sometimes we have to find things, activities, or people that make life easier. I'm not saying that when you go to college your first stop should be a fraternity party in order to find “the one,” or that your sole purpose in college should be to find a boy and fall madly in love. I'm saying that if life hands you happiness and love on a silver platter, don't turn it down! Being willing to change your plan is an important part of college. It's the best change I've made. 

 

TRUE

I didn't have many good friends in high school. There was no one who I felt extremely close to outside of my family. When I came to college, I prayed this would change. As always, God answered my prayers with a complicated reply. He gave me several new friends, but then left it up to me to realize which friends were worth keeping. You will meet a ton of people in college. There will be people who talk behind your back, and there will be people who you call friends. Make sure they're not the same people. Find true friends. I've been blessed with a few girls who have changed my life. I was just fine before I met them, but now I can't imagine my life without them.

College is a time to learn more about yourself and experience new things. These are the most important 4 letter words to me. They have affected my life in the best possible way. Hopefully it helps you in your life.

Amanda Wineman is a college freshman at Huntingdon College in Montgomery, Alabama majoring in Political Science with a minor in French. Originally from Cut Bank, Montana, Amanda was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Montana for 2011. Learn more about Amanda here!

Finding Prince Charming - by Rebecca

Alright, girls, let’s be honest for a minute. I think almost all of us have, at some point in time, dreamed of having a “Cinderella” fairytale. I mean, who wouldn’t love to have a story like that of their own? She gets her dream guy—one who seems impossible to get—in such a perfect way. There’s the “love at first sight” ideal moment, some drama and suspense, and a true love that reigns over all barriers (including annoying step sisters!). It seems like such an impossible ideal, but I think there’s a lot to learn from Cinderella.

First of all, don’t keep waiting, but never stop dreaming. Your ideal guy IS out there, you just have to wait! Many times, your perfect fairytale isn’t actually your idea. Most couples meet in a completely unexpected way. One woman in my life who recently got married told me, “It was when I stopped looking that I found my true love.” It’s when you STOP worrying and searching for the right guy that you tend to find exactly what you’re looking for and more. So don’t waste your life away WAITING! Just keep living your life to the fullest, and let Prince Charming find you himself, because trust me, if you are meant to be together, nothing will keep you apart! But in that, never stop dreaming. Never give up hope that you will find your Prince Charming. He will come, in the perfect way, at the perfect time!

Secondly, know that your Prince Charming is never too good for you. So in that fact, realize two things: first of all, you shouldn’t think you’re not good enough for anyone, and second, your Prince Charming shouldn’t feel he’s too good for you. Cinderella doubted herself multiple times, wondering why on earth a prince would fall for someone like her. However, in this, I’m sure the prince wondered why someone like her would fall for him, either. When you find your Prince Charming, you should both feel as though you’ve found someone too good to be true. Don’t fall for anyone who won’t treat you as any less than the princess that you are!! With that, don’t lower your standards for anyone. Make a list of every trait you want your “perfect guy” to have, and I can guarantee your perfect guy will meet all those standards and more! Even if he doesn’t match the description perfectly, his flaws should be ones that do not make you lower any of your standards. They will just be small differences that still make him perfect in your eyes.

Thirdly, there WILL be trials. Even Cinderella had trials throughout her fairytale! I mean, she had to deal with an evil stepmother and two evil stepsisters, with no one to stand up for her at home. Above that, she ran away from the ball knowing that the prince had no idea who she was, thinking she would never see him again, and she even lost one of her prized glass slippers! (I think that may be a VERY big issue for some of us!) It is VERY unlikely that your story will play out without any troubles or hiccups. But that’s how it should work! Think of how boring Cinderella would have been if she didn’t have any of those problems. Cinderella would have grown up in a nice castle of her own with her dad, she would have gone to the ball with all the other girls, she would have met the prince, they would have fallen in love and gotten married the next day, and all would have been well in the kingdom. Snore. Besides it being super boring, you can’t grow without trials and problems. It’s through facing these issues that we learn about both ourselves and others. So push through the problems! They will come, but if it is meant to be, everything will work out!

Finally, WAIT. I do not mean spend your life just waiting for the perfect guy; rather, I mean wait to label someone as your Prince Charming. Don’t throw yourself at the first guy who comes your way. Guard your heart, because it’s the only heart you get. You are a prize, and you should wait for the one who will treat you as such. Just don’t rush yourself into your fairytale—you have your whole life ahead of you, and when your true fairytale happens, it will have been worth waiting for!!

So let’s go over our lessons from Cinderella…

1. Don’t waste your life waiting, but never stop dreaming! 
2. Your Prince Charming is never too good for you, and he should treat you like the princess you are!
3. Your fairytale will not go without trouble—there WILL be bumps in the road, just keep pushing through!
4. WAIT to find your true Prince Charming. Don’t put up barriers, but guard your heart wisely, because you are a prize to be won!

Remember that everything will work out as it is supposed to. Don’t stress about finding the right guy, because the right guy will find you! Just be yourself, live your life, and get ready to write your own perfect story!

Rebecca Mitchell is a college freshman at the University of South Alabama in Mobile, Alabama majoring in Elementary Education. Originally from Ijamsville, Maryland, Rebecca was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Maryland for 2011. Learn more about Rebecca here!

Boys: How to Pick 'Em - by Katye

Okay, y’all.  Don’t lie.  You all know that one of the college experiences you are most excited about is the sea of college boys—cute, flattering, smart college boys—that you will immerse yourselves in come next fall.  It’s a fresh start for all of you.  I don’t know about you, but I grew up knowing the same boys from kindergarten to senior year.  By the time graduation rolled around, I knew everything about each one of them, which did not make any of them appealing.  So here is the good news: you will meet SO MANY BOYS. The bad news? Not all of them are ones you want to hang around with.  So, here is what I have learned about boys from my first year in college.

BEWARE OF FLATTERY!

All of you are beautiful, and it is no surprise that the boys in this world can see that.  However, if that is ALL they care about, they aren’t serious about you or your feelings. Take compliments with a grain of salt; in other words, enjoy them, but don’t assume they mean that a guy wants to fall in love and get married.

MAKE HIM PAY! 

This sounds kind of sadistic, but all I really mean is hold out for a real date! Don’t fall for a boy over text message or Facebook.  Sure, his profile picture is AH-dorable, but what if he is a complete jerk or eats like a pig? You probably want to learn someone’s background before getting emotionally involved.  Maybe it’s my southern roots, but a boy better take me out, open my car door, and pay for my meal.  It’s just how things are done!

AVOID THE HARD PARTY BOYS! 

There are parties in college.  Surprised?  If you are, you must be living under a rock.  I haven’t actually attended any “ragers” in my time at UT; however, I have many friends who are much more into that scene than I am, and, believe me, I have heard stories.  I know you’ve heard a thousand times, “Don’t accept a drink from anyone; always fix your own!” This is so true, but there is more! Know your limits, girls.  I have seen too many cases of the dreaded “blackout,” where a girl doesn’t even remember what happened the night before.  Boys will try to offer you drink after drink, so that you lose control of yourself and give in to what they want.  These boys are NO GOOD.  The ones that are constantly at parties looking for girls at parties are only interested in being involved with girls at parties.  See the trend?  Those boys are playing the field, not considering each girl’s feelings.

 
DON’T SETTLE!

You will have a lot of friends in college, and a lot of these friends will probably find boyfriends.  Don’t feel left out if you don’t find Prince Charming during your first semester.  Guard your hearts against meaningless relationships.  Hold out for that one guy that truly cares about you!  It is easy to feel pressured to be in a relationship, but don’t settle for the boy that isn’t good enough for you.  You all deserve the best there is.

SEX DOES NOT EQUAL LOVE!

Girls go crazy in college, y’all.  It’s commonly called “shacking.”  This is when a member of the opposite sex spontaneously spends the night with the other.  Don’t be forced to do the "walk of shame."  People know when you’re doing it.  Boys will tell you anything to get you to satisfy their hormonal desires.  Take sex as seriously as it should be taken. 

Those are just a few guidelines.  A special note to those of you with boyfriends: don’t assume there is something better.  I have a wonderful boyfriend that encourages me in the Lord and in all my endeavors.  If you have something amazing going into college, don’t just give it up to explore other options!  You all are beautiful, and remember: Stay Distinguished!

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ “ 
Philippians 1:9-10

Katye Brock is a college freshman at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Tennessee majoring in International Studies. Originally from Tullahoma, Tennessee, Katye was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Tennessee for 2011 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2011. Learn more about Katye here!

Ann's Tips on Boys

Ann Clancy is a college freshman at Huntingdon College in Montgomery, Alabama majoring in Political Science with a minor in Psychology. Originally from Ferrisburgh, Vermont, Ann was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Vermont for 2011. Learn more about Ann here!