Do It Anyway - by Christina

One of my favorite places to be is the Welcome Table, a homeless ministry in a church in downtown Asheville, North Carolina.  Every Wednesday, they serve hundreds of homeless people a delicious meal, sometimes serving as many as 600 people in one afternoon.  Afterwards, they open up the sanctuary for a worship service that embodies a “holy chaos” as ministers, homeless people, college students and CEO’s on lunch breaks all praise God together. 

This year, I’m blessed to be home in Asheville for the majority of the summer.  For the first time, I’m able to go help serve meals before the services on Wednesday.  This is not your typical soup kitchen homeless ministry.  Instead of moving through an assembly line of food, visitors are served family style gourmet meals.  The first day I served, I helped pass out platters of lemon poppy seed chicken adorned with banana peppers and sprigs of fresh cilantro, collard greens, roasted potatoes, fresh salad, buttery cornbread and fluffy raisin bread pudding.

The two incredible men who run the kitchen plan the meals well in advance, taking joy in creating delicious dishes that match the quality of something you could buy in a nice restaurant.  One of the men explained to me how important the presentation of the food is.  He said that he didn’t want them going through a soup kitchen line as if they were in a prison.  He wanted them to know they didn’t deserve leftovers or second best.  As fellow human beings, they deserved the best. 

How often do we get rushed, stressed, burned out or lazy and give people our second best, particularly people we may think don’t deserve our best?  What a striking portrait of love for humankind it would be if we treated everyone with the respect, compassion and thoughtfulness we sometimes reserve for those we consider by our standards or the world’s to be “worthy”?

Yet sometimes when you open your heart and give your best, people may not notice your kindness, may not bother to thank you or may accuse you of ulterior motives.  It is important to not be discouraged.

At the very first table I served at the Welcome Table, a women asked for more chicken, which we couldn’t give seconds of.  I apologized and offered to get her more salad or bread instead.  She was furious.  She pointed her thumbs down at me and told me my service got two thumbs down.  She then told me I could go and send someone else over to refill her water, that I was a disappointment. 

At first, I was stunned and didn’t know how to react!  Yet, we have to love people where they are, knowing that we are all in need of a little grace.  So I pulled myself together, smiled back at her and said, “Alright, great!  Let me know if I can do anything else for you!”

Sometimes life isn’t all peachy.  Sometimes we go out of our way to give our very best and get two thumbs down in return.  Maybe you refused to cheat on a test like your friends did and ended up getting a lower grade in your class because of it.  Or maybe when you don’t get the playing time you deserve, instead of complaining or being rude to your coach, you wait patiently with humility – something no one ever compliments you on.  Some of the greatest acts of kindness go unnoticed and unappreciated.  I think that these are the times when the core of our ministry and character is tested.  One of my favorite poems of all times provides inspiration for the times when we may think that our hard work is insignificant or meaningless.  Written by the selfless Mother Teresa, it helps us to remember what to do when we get two thumbs down.  Do it anyway. 

“Anyway” by- Mother Teresa
 
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Christina Maxwell is a college freshman at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan majoring in Musical Theatre. Originally from Asheville , North Carolina, Christina was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina for 2012 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012. Learn more about Christina here!

You Are Your Number One Priority – by Sierra

There is one word that just about everyone on this planet fears being called: selfish. Growing up, we’re taught to do the selfless thing and to share, share, share. We’re always to think of others first and to never do something out of our pure pleaser. Of course there is nothing wrong with this; however, sometimes we are so scared of being selfish, we forget to put our own happiness into the equation.
 
It is so easy to get caught up in the motion of making sure our family is happy, then making sure our friends are happy, and then sometimes even making sure our teachers/professors are happy. By the end of the day, we find ourselves exhausted and indifferent. Overtime, we realize that just about everyone else around us and doing wonderful, and we’re still not truly happy.
 
This usually happens when we overexert ourselves, and to be honest, if this happens to you, there is nothing wrong with that. If more people had the issue of being “too selfless”, the world would be a better place. On the other hand though, you must always remember to only act in what will have the best outcome for you mentally, physically, and emotionally. This means that sometimes we will have to say no to going out with our friends just so we can get some “me time.”
 
Don’t be ashamed to have to tell people that’s what you need. Needing some “me time” is not a sign of weakness or having a nervous breakdown; at some point everyone needs some of it. I will admit, that I find myself wanting to be alone so that I can dance in front of the mirror or so I can belch out every word to my favorite Beyoncé song. Laugh if you want to, I find it very therapeutic.
So find whatever makes you happy and not necessarily what makes everyone else happy. Don’t forget about them, and always be there, but remember: you are your number one priority.

Sierra Terrell is a college freshman at Troy University in Troy, Alabama majoring in Psychology. Originally from Waldorf, Maryland, Sierra was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Maryland for 2012. Learn more about Sierra here!

National Be Your Best Self Week - Be Involved - a video from Christina

This week, April 22-26, is National Be Your Best Self Week! Christina Maxwell, Distinguished Young Woman of America shares her thoughts on being involved, one of five elements that make up the Be Your Best Self program. Check back throughout the week for more videos from Christina!

Christina Maxwell is a college freshman at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan majoring in Musical Theatre. Originally from Asheville , North Carolina, Christina was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina for 2012 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012. Learn more about Christina here!

When Tragedy Strikes - by Ali

      How far would you go for a perfect stranger? It’s a compelling question when given the chance to think about it. However, when tragedy strikes, we don’t think.  We just do. That is exactly what Madison Wallace and Lyle Eagle Tail did on the 14th of March. Together, they will be risen up as heroes.

       I’m not sure how many of you have heard the tragic story so I will give some of the details. At around 6 p.m. on Thursday, a young boy fell into the Big Sioux River in Sioux Falls, SD. His sister, 16-year-old Madison jumped in to save him. Lyle, a 28-year old who was visiting the falls with his fiancé, saw the teen go under the current and without hesitation jumped in to save her and her brother. The young boy was saved by their efforts; however, heaven gained two angels that night. Because of the foam from the falls, rescuers were not able to find the two victims right away. Madison was found Friday afternoon and Lyle was found on Saturday.

 Madison Wallace

      It breaks my heart to think about such a tragedy but at the same time, it makes me thankful. I’m thankful to know that even though awful things happen everyday in our world, there are heroes like Madison and Lyle that would and did risk their lives for another.  The Wallace family and Lyle had no connection whatsoever, just perfect strangers. It’s one thing to sacrifice your life for someone you love but it’s a whole other situation when it is for someone you don’t know. But that’s the beauty of an act of kindness and pure selflessness. 

Lyle Eagle Tail

       This tragedy will forever remind me to be thankful for the time with loved ones that I have. You never know when something could happen. Madison and Lyle will forever be heroes. For anyone interested, there are Facebook pages in memory of the victims: “Madison Wallace Family Fund” and “Rename Falls Park: Lyle Eagle Tail and Madison Wallace Memorial Falls Park.” Prayers and thoughts go out to the families and friends of these individuals. 


Ali Houser is a college freshman at The University of Minnesota – Twin Cities in Minneapolis, Minnesota majoring in Dental Hygiene. Originally from Beresford, South Dakota, Ali was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of South Dakota for 2012. Learn more about Ali here!

The Story of Mr. Branch - by Christina

My dad is one of the most influential people in my life.  One of the things that is most unique to him is his gift for writing and telling stories.  They manage to oftentimes nudge me in the right direction in life and serve as a comfort for me.  A few years ago, he shared this story with me and every year around Christmas time, it reminds me of the spirit of the season.  Here is the story, as told to me by my dad:

When I was in high school, I had a job at Jackson's IGA in Pink Hill, North Carolina, bagging groceries.  I worked there often during the winter when there was less work to do on the farm. 

One year, we were planning to have Santa in our store for the kids on Saturday before Christmas. For more than a week, I reminded parents and kids as I took their groceries to their car that Santa would be in the store on that particular Saturday. I found myself looking forward to seeing the eager faces and looks of wonder when they came into the store and saw Santa. 

When I arrived at the store that particular Saturday, I was crushed to learn that the scheduled Santa was unable to make it. But it was even more unbelievable to learn there was no back up plan. All I could think about was all those kids that I had encouraged to return and how disappointed they would be. "How can Santa just not show up?" I kept asking myself. Finally, I had an idea. If no one would step up, maybe our store manager would let ME be Santa. He not only agreed but he also let me use his car to drive the 40 mile round trip to Kinston where Mrs. Lib Watson turned a very skinny 6' tall, 160 pound kid into Santa Claus. Pulling her late husband's Santa suit from storage, she used every pillow, sheet and towel in the house to help me fill it up. I still imagine what must have been going through motorists minds that morning as they saw Santa flying by in a brown 1975 El Camino! Although Santa would be late, he would NOT be a no-show!

I enjoyed every moment of my store job that day. The excitement on the faces of the kids was the perfect reward for a frantic morning and the sweltering environment inside that suit. But there was a side story developing that day that became more meaningful to me in my adult years. Early afternoon, an old black gentleman walked into the store and towards my direction. Although I didn't know his name at the time, I had seen this man many times making the short walk along NC Highway 11 into town and back home again. I knew where he lived - an old, unpainted, deteriorating plank sided house with a rusty tin roof - but, being a busy white kid with places to go and too many things to do, we didn't run in the same circles and this was the first time I had seen him this close.

"Well Merry Christmas, young man!" I exclaimed. "What do you want Santa to bring you this Christmas?"

"You never come to see me at Christmas. Why would I ask for anything?" He stopped and stared at me with no particular emotion on his face that I can recall. I was stunned and heartbroken at the same time. How can anyone feel that way at Christmas time I wondered? Not knowing exactly how to respond, I quickly said with a confidence that surprised even me:

"I don't come to see everyone on Christmas day. Sometimes I come at other times of the year when you don't expect me. It may be small but I always come, because I always care."

He nodded his head as if to say "good day" and moved on through the store. The powerful moment was soon lost on this 16 year old as more kids came in to see "Santa." As I was finishing up with a kid giving me his robust wish list, I noticed a quiet, still figure over my left shoulder. When I turned, I saw the old man politely, patiently waiting to see Santa again. This time, it was his turn to talk.

"Santa, I thought about what you said and I know it's true. I should be thankful. I got to thinking about how you do all the giving and you probably never get anything from anyone, so here." He extended a small brown paper bag. I took it and pulled out a quart of eggnog. Unlike our first encounter, I was speechless. This gentle spirit who had not known material prosperity, took from his own meager purse and bought something for a stranger. He was giving what he could from a sincere heart. When I finally composed myself and turned to speak, he was gone.

I've learned to appreciate that story more now as an adult. So at Christmas, I choose to honor Mr. Branch's memory. I want others to know the lessons I've learned from his simple act. Each year, I choose 11 people (in memory of his walks along Highway 11) to receive a quart of eggnog in a brown paper bag with this story attached. I ask each person to share this story and a quart of eggnog - in a brown paper bag of course - with two other people (one a friend and one a stranger) because this story began with two people from very different worlds.

There is something about the holiday season that suddenly brings things into focus.  With Bing Crosby's rendition of White Christmas playing out of nearly every speaker in existence, red Salvation Army bells ringing in nearly every street corner and beautifully sculpted and reverently arranged life-size nativity scenes standing in front of churches hemmed with garland and candles, it's as if a contagious generosity, usually smothered by the hectic pace of life, suddenly thrives.  Not only does this generosity thrive, but it is no longer limited to the people we normally notice.  We begin to notice the people who the world oftentimes forgets or dismisses because they live in the shadows of our society, people like Mr. Branch.

Who is in the shadows of your life?  Is it the guy who sits quietly and somberly in the back of your Psychology class, afraid to talk to anyone?  Is it the homeless woman who you always pass on your way to the gym, but never acknowledge?  Is it the friendly but lonely old man who swipes your Student I.D. card in the dining hall each day? My dad reached out to someone who often went unnoticed.  He was amazed by all that Mr. Branch had to offer.  Because of Mr. Branch, my dad now reaches out to more people every Christmas.  You never know at first glance what you can learn from someone.  This holiday season, may we reach out in a spirit of uninhibited giving not limited by the lines we have perhaps unknowingly drawn. I think we may be surprised by what we learn and that in giving, we do indeed receive.

Christina Maxwell is a college freshman at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan majoring in Musical Theatre. Originally from Asheville , North Carolina, Christina was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina for 2012 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012. Learn more about Christina here!

Now What? - by Chloe

As human beings we are often left asking the question: “Now what?”

“My home work is done.” (Haha, yeah right) “Now what?”

“I graduated from high school.” “Now what?”

“I dropped my earring in the drain.” “Now what?”

Well, some of those “Now Whats” are easier to answer than others. Done with your homework? Start tomorrow’s homework, or go to bed. (I always advocate for the nap!) You’re a high school graduate? Awesome, now its time for college or a job. You dropped your earring in a drain? Find a new earring, because that one is GONE. But how do we answer the more difficult questions?

“My house burned down.” “Now what?”

“My mom has cancer.” “Now what?”

This week, I found myself asking again, “Now What?,” as I watched hurricane Sandy barrel across the Eastern Coast. I sat in my cozy dorm room in inland Indiana looking at the pictures of devastation and flooding. They left me wanting to do something, but all I could do was ask “now what?”

I felt like there was so little I could do, and for the time being, that might be true. There isn’t much we can do, because the wind is still blowing and the power is still out all over the Eastern states, but helplessness never lasts forever.

Every time I think about hurricanes, I remember Hurricane Katrina and the mission trip I took to Waveland, Mississippi in 2008. We went to answer the question “Now what?” Then our answer was, “Now, we serve.” For ten days in the heat of late June, my youth group hung dry wall, put in insulation, painted, and built stairs and hand railings.

That trip has stuck with me strongly, because we finished one of the houses we were assigned to. We put up the last pieces of shelving and were present when the electric company came and turned on the family’s electricity. We watched a mom and her 4 year old daughter run through their newly finished house turning on all of the lights and faucets. The little girl hugged each one of us and screamed with delight. She probably never remembered spending the night in the house that was destroyed by Katrina, so the place she was standing in was the first Home she had ever known.

Every time I think about that trip, I see that little girl’s face. I can think of no better answer to the question “Now what?” Her face said it all. We could not have found a better way to react to Katrina than by helping to put that look on that 4 year old’s face.

So how do we react now? Now what? Hurricane Sandy is not the first hurricane, and we can be certain it won’t be the last. The feeling of helplessness will soon evaporate with the rain and we will be left with the question to answer. These questions are hard to swallow, and even harder to answer, but sometimes the answers will change our lives.

“Now What” questions are chances for leadership and service. With every hard question comes an answer with great rewards. Even if you really cannot do anything about Hurricane Sandy, or an illness in your family, or a tragedy in your own life, you will soon have the opportunity to grow and help others to grow with you. Use those hard questions. Become a servant leader. Your answers might change your life, or the life of someone unexpected.

So, you’ve read this blog, Now What?

Chloe McLaughlin is a college freshman at Indiana Wesleyan University in Marion, Indiana majoring in Church Music and Christian Worship. Originally from Frankfort, Indiana, Chloe was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Indiana for 2012. Learn more about Chloe here!