Single and Failing to Mingle - by Chloe

I hate to admit it, but I go to a school where it is incredibly common for girls to graduate with not only a Bachelor’s degree, but also an M.R.S. degree. Common IWU terms are “Ring by Spring” and “Freshman Mating Season.” (Ring by Spring refers to the ridiculous amount of engagements that happen in the months of February-April. Freshmen Mating season is basically just a loving description of the madness that ensues as the freshmen discover new future mate possibilities. Yes. It really is that ridiculous.) It seems like so much value is placed on finding a mate and it is an embarrassment to graduate with a bare left ring finger. Since when did it become a crime to be single at 22 or 23?

I will openly admit that I don’t really have any experience where relationships are concerned; in fact I have spent 19 years becoming really awesome at being single. My friends have said before that I am single and failing to mingle. Don’t be too jealous. Haha  (I should also note that the possibility of this streak being broken anytime soon is slim, because I go to a college where the girl: guy ratio is 3:1. Yes I am still serious.) I have never been ashamed of my single status, because I have learned how to be myself. So many people, especially women, see singleness as a weakness or a disease of some kind. Well news flash my teenage and twenty-something friends, IT’S NOT!!! Embrace your singleness without shame!!

Come on All my single Ladies!

My mom has always taught me that being married and having a family is wonderful, but there is something amazing about the years you get to be yourself. My early twenties are the years I should be finishing up school and pursuing my dreams, but the average expectation seems to be that I will be planning a wedding. I want to spend the next 6-8 years chasing the things that I have been dreaming about my entire life! I want to have the freedom to live somewhere incredible, travel around the world with nothing but a back pack, or ride my bike across the country like my mom did. After all, you really do only live once. I don’t want to regret not pursuing one of my dreams.

There is nothing shameful about being single. It can be exhilarating and fulfilling! Whenever I accidently drink the IWU Kool-Aid and start getting down about being “alone” I just remember that my relationship status on Facebook or a silver band on my left hand does not define my value. I have to love myself before someone else can love me.

So ladies (and gents if you are reading this!) do not stress about being “alone!” Spend your college years trying to find your maid of honor or best man and then you can worry about your groom or bride. Becoming your best self does not have to include another person! Enjoy college and stop worrying! Become YOU and happiness will follow!

Chloe McLaughlin is a college freshman at Indiana Wesleyan University in Marion, Indiana majoring in Church Music and Christian Worship. Originally from Frankfort, Indiana, Chloe was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Indiana for 2012. Learn more about Chloe here! 

Random Acts of Kindness - by Emily

For those of you that may not know, February was random acts of kindness month.  I’m part of the honors program at my school and as a group we decided to spread some random kindness around campus. We raised money for charity, gave away free candy, and posted “take a free compliment” flyers around campus with cut-out compliments on the bottom for people to rip off. The little things we did were fun and helped promote the atmosphere that we wanted, but my favorite thing that we did was the clothespin-kindness act.

The idea behind the clothespin-kindness act was to take clothespins that say things like “have a great day!” and “you have a great smile!” and pin them on strangers. The key is to be sneaky about it so they don’t know you are pinning it on them. That way when they find the clothespin later on, they won’t know who pinned it on them and will receive a random act of kindness. My friends and I from the honors program found this task a lot harder than we thought, especially the being sneaky part. The results of our pin-the-compliment-on-a-stranger adventures, however, made us feel like we had succeeded in spreading the kindness around campus.

The first day of pinning, we saw our results all over facebook, twitter, and instagram. Under the hashtag #randomactsofkindness, we found people from all over Merrimack posting pictures of the clothespins they found on their bag or jacket and how it made their day.  One of my favorite quotes and philosophies is by Rachel Joy Scott, who said:


"I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go."

 

So spread a little kindness today. It may go a lot farther than you think. 

Emily Thomas is a college freshman at Merrimack College in North Andover, Massachusetts majoring in Chemistry and Secondary Education. Originally from Bridgewater, Massachusetts, Emily was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Massachusetts for 2012. Learn more about Emily here!

Run Away from It, or Learn from It - by Ankhita

First of all, I owe you guys a HUGE apology. I am SO sorry that I haven’t put up a blog post in two months.

I wish I could say that I was off fighting Orcs in Mordor (LOTR, anyone?) or proving that Sasquatch exists (which he does, obviously) or have some other really awesome, excusable excuse involving no internet and true gallantry, but I honestly do not have a [good] explanation as to why I’ve been so absent.

I know this must come as a colossal blow to you guys. I mean, let’s be honest; most of you have probably been trembling in corners for the last two months, waiting for my incredibly sagacious and scathingly witty remarks. But before you lose all faith in me, hear me out. 

In case it needed to be said again; I’ve always loved the Lion King. But…I kind of feel like I let Pride Rock down, seeing as I broke pretty much the most basic life lesson that Simba learned. And that is, that I ran away from my problems. 

In all honesty, life has been really difficult lately. Not more than most people’s lives necessarily, but more difficult and more stressful than what I’ve been used to. The finals before winter break were the worst two academic weeks of my life. It was just so…difficult. There’s no other word.

 
And then I felt like my life was a little out of control, so when it came time to write my blog post, I couldn’t. I mean, how could I possibly advise anyone if I didn’t even have my own life in order? That really scared me.

So when break finally started, I had had it. I was going to take a vacation from the real world. I stopped checking my school email, I didn’t really stay in contact with the college friends I had made, and even waited until literally the last possible second to order my textbooks for this spring semester. I tried to dive back into my high school life, going out for dinner, playing with my quartet, spending time with the family, and essentially, ignoring everything that needed to be done.

And it was amazing. I had such an incredible time – it felt so good to be back home, therapeutic even. I was living in my own little paradise with basically no worries. (By the way, if you ever read this, Drake? Timon and Pumba coined Hakuna Matata, wayyyy before you even thought about “YOLO”.)

When people asked me if I was ready to go back to school, I would smile blankly and ask, “what’s school?” And people would laugh because they thought I was joking… but I almost wasn’t. 

Oh, and I made my parents promise that they wouldn’t talk to me about college unless absolutely necessary. No, you don’t understand. Any time anyone started talking to me about school, I would put my hands over my ears and yell nonsensically.

I was being ridiculous, I know. I’m not proud. Don’t do any of this, by the way.
I could try to justify my behavior by giving you a more thorough explanation, but I’m not going to, because even all that is not an excuse. I realize that now.

In spite of seeing what happens when you run away from life, reenacted over and over on a sticky, cheerio-encrusted VHS, I did it anyway.

I’m sorry, Mufasa.

This is my recurring weakness; when life comes at me, I tend to curl up into a ball, roll away, and ignore everything. Now – don’t get me wrong. It’s not like I instantly fetal position when I have to decide between strawberry and chocolate because they’re out of vanilla. I mean, after momentary panic, BAM, I choose BOTH and then congratulate myself on being so diplomatic. It’s not those kinds of things. It’s just that…Ankhita can’t deal with having to decide between Rocky Road, Raspberry Sherbet, and Mint Chocolate in addition to various toppings while an ice cream truck empties out an avalanche of flavors onto her head. You know what I mean?  Ugh, that was a better analogy when I was first going for it. Here’s what I’m trying to say:

Guys, I’ve been hiding from the past five months of college. It’s terrible. This is not the case for everyone, but I LOVED high school. I can’t say that enough. I had the best time and having to leave it is really putting me outside of my comfort zone. And I'm never going back. I have to accept that. One of the main lessons from the Lion King is that if you don’t face your problems, they’re going to catch up with you, and I completely ignored that. And let me tell you, it is so true.

In case anyone needed to be reminded of this (I know I do), nothing just “goes away”. It will come back to haunt you eventually – this applies to problems of all sizes. Maybe…you didn’t study for your test last week because you didn’t understand anything and it frustrated you. And now the test is tomorrow and you still don’t understand anything. Or maybe your mom told you to clean your room a month ago and you didn’t, and now there’s a green creature living in the back of your closet. Or maybe you ran away when your uncle killed your father in an attempt to usurp a throne that rightfully belongs to you, and now your kingdom is being run by hyenas and ruled by aforementioned uncle.

Jokes aside, Rafiki knew what he was talking about when he said, you can either “run away from it, or learn from it.” Obviously I had to go back to school eventually. And now I’ve had to catch up with everything that I ignored for a month. I was forced to stop running and had to really sit down and think about what I’ve been doing.

So here’s my New Years Resolution, about a month late: I will face my responsibilities head on. I will focus on what I can control and deal with what I can’t by taking it in stride. 

So that’s where I’ve been. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll see if they’ll let me write an extra two blogs to make up for my two month hiatus from reality.

Hope 2013 has been amazing for you guys (take that, Mayans!) I know it’s been eye-opening for me!

Here’s to being awesome!
-Ankhita

Ankhita Samuel is a first year medical student studying to earn a BLA major with a Spanish minor in the six year medical program at the University of Missouri-Kansas City in Kansas City, Missouri. Originally from Olathe, Kansas, Ankhita was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Kansas for 2012. Learn more about Ankhita here!

At the End of the Rainbow - by Christina

I recently took a wonderful trip to Mobile, Alabama, the home of Distinguished Young Women.  I was there for nearly a week, taking part in the Go Daddy.com bowl game events and speaking and performing as the national representative at various events.  It was an incredible week full of memories that I will continue to cherish.  However, two moments in particular have become a source of inspiration.

I had just finished talking to a large group of girl scouts about setting goals and how I achieved the goal of becoming the Distinguished Young Woman of America.  At the end of my talk, I shared with them my dream of becoming a Broadway actress and sang “Over the Rainbow” for them.  Then I invited anyone who had any questions for me to come to the front. 

A miniature mob of little girls, with their sparkly scrunchies and light-up shoes, crowded around the edge of the stage.  Their questions warmed my heart.  The first little girl asked in a tone of wonder, “How do you get your hair to curl like that?”.  Another little girl asked, “How did you become so beautiful?”.  After a stream of adorable questions, the last little girl asked a question that caught me off guard.  With a very serious expression, she said, “I was just wondering, is there reallya pot of gold at the end of every rainbow?”.

My heart was completely melted at her unabashed sincerity and her authentic desire to know if life was really as good as stories and favorite songs made it seem.

Earlier that week, another child had left me speechless and in tears.  I made a trip with the football players from the Go Daddy.com bowl game to a Mobile hospital to deliver toys and encouragement to children in the hospital. 

One particular little girl was in the ICU, only ten years old, but with a beautiful heart full of selflessness and contagious joy that fought its way through the obvious sadness like a determined daisy shooting its stem up through a crack in the gray sidewalk.  This little girl insists on saying a prayer for anyone who comes into her room.  And sure enough, after we had visited and laughed with this spunky and bubbly girl, she held our hands and prayed for us.  From her hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of tubes, she prayed a beautiful and sincere prayer, asking for strength and courage for the football players, medicine to make us well and thanking God that we were his children.  Reduced to tears, I couldn’t even speak.  This little girl, burdened with so much at such a young age, exhibited courage, unwavering joy and compassion that we are not familiar with.

What is it about children that allows them to feel so deeply and be so free with their questions, advice and joy?  I remember when I was little, how I was so enraptured by the new and bright world around me that I couldn’t force myself to take a nap for fear that I would miss something.  I would dress up as Snow White and sing to the woodland creatures I imagined living in our yard.  I wasn’t afraid to tell people what I thought or to be loving and perhaps overly friendly to strangers.  My parents told me a story about how one Sunday at church when I was very young, I sat next to an older lady who was patient and sweet to my fidgety little brother.  After church, I wrote her a note that said, “I met a nice lady in church today and it was you”.

My acting teacher recently gave all of us students a piece of advice that has stuck with me.  In her wisdom and goodness, she said, “It is important that we remember to check in with our five-year-old selves every now and then.”  I believe that she is right. 

What happens as we grow up that causes that child-like wonder to fade?  Where along the line do we let our insatiable appetite for life and love, merry abandonment and our ability to dream wildly be extinguished?  As we grow up, reality sometimes takes a toll on us.  We realize that there aren’t always fairy godmothers to remind us that we are the belles of the ball rather than someone who deserves to be hidden in a corner of cinders.  Young men aren’t always kind-hearted and handsome princes and sometimes the pot of gold you had hoped was at the end of the rainbow isn’t there. 

Yet, in times of inevitable disappointment, I think it is wise to follow my teacher’s advice and see what our five-year-old selves would have done.  I think it is when we can face grown-up trials and tragedies with a child-like heart, full of stubborn resiliency and unwavering belief in undeniable good, that we have truly grown up … and miracles happen.

Christina Maxwell is a college freshman at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan majoring in Musical Theatre. Originally from Asheville , North Carolina, Christina was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina for 2012 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012. Learn more about Christina here!

Cyber Snapshot at Life - by Carly

Most of us spend excessive time on the internet.  However, most of my time is spent on one website, Pinterest!  This nifty little website offers a sneak peak at all the things I like, whether it is clothes, recipes, or quotes.  Every night over Christmas break my mom, sister, and I all sit in our basement with iPhones or laptops in hand, and we explore the different pages of this spectacular site!  For those of you not familiar with Pinterest, it is like a virtual bulletin board that allows you to “pin” things you find on the internet or “repin” other things pinned by people onto different boards.  The site sorts pins in all kinds of categories, from weddings to humor.  My favorite pins are about fashion, workouts, home décor, and wedding plans.  For me, it is like window shopping and future planning all in one!  Another cool thing, is that you can follow your friends on Pinterest, see what they pin, and then repin their posts on your own boards.  My mom is by far the follower who repins the most!  Let me show you some of my most recent pins…

Fun necklace charms that represent different organic compounds—I’m a biochemistry major, so I think these are pretty awesome!

Blueberry, coconut breakfast cookies!  They’re vegan too!

The cutest puppy I’ve ever seen!  It is a cockalier spaniel (Cocker Spaniel, Cavalier King Charles, and Poodle)!

My DREAM closet!

Sperry boots that I wish were in my closet right now!

And finally some encouraging words to bring in the New Year!

Pinterest is full of all kinds of things for everyone.  Whatever you are looking for, guaranteed it is on Pinterest.  Whenever I want a new recipe or a craft to do, Pinterest is there to offer some ideas.  If you don’t have a Pinterest, then I encourage you to sign up!  It offers endless hours of entertainment.  If you already have a Pinterest, look me up!  All of my pins paint a picture of what my dream home looks like, crafts for a rainy day, an exquisite wardrobe, and recipes to warm your belly.  Pinterest is there to offer all kinds of inspiration to celebrate the start to a brand new year!  Happy Pinning!

Carly Henry is a college freshman at Elizabethtown College in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania majoring in biochemistry with a minor is business. Originally from York, Pennsylvania, Carly was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Pennsylvania for 2012. Learn more about Carly here!