Flashback: National Be Your Best Self Week 2012 - Part 2

The series of posts over the next several days will feature essays on National Be Your Best Self Week 2012. These posts were the winning entries for the three Be Your Best Self Satellite Awards and Distinguished Outreach Award presented at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals in June. National Be Your Best Self Week is a week-long outreach effort presented by Distinguished Young Women each spring. Participants at all levels of the program (local, state and national) engage in community outreach to share the positive message of the Be Your Best Self program. For more information, visit http://www.distinguishedyw.org/be_your_best_self/.

                  "I help with Emma’s Touch, a local foundation for childhood cancer!” a young girl exclaimed from the second row during the “Involvement” section of my BYBS presentation. This moment reminded me how blessed I was to have the opportunity to speak on such a profound subject. Due to recent suicides within our county as a result of bullying, I spoke on building self esteem and walking in others’ shoes during my presentation.

                  My presentation was in front of the entire fifth grade at my local elementary school.  Due to a lack of a Boy’s and Girl’s club in my community, I chose to speak to this fifth grade class. I really enjoyed speaking to this age group, as they are still interested in fun activities such as paper chains, yet they are mature enough to understand the topics of drugs and bullying. There were sixty students listening in on my presentation as I went through the five different subjects used to build the “best self”. “Be healthy, be involved, be studious, be ambitious, and be responsible”, I described each of these subjects and gave examples of how each subject can be carried out.

 As the children sat in front of me I was able to remember how I was at that age. In fifth grade, I felt like I could rule the world; face anything that came to me.  Little did I know that I had not experienced even half of the challenges of growing up. I tried my best to be real with the children. I told them how I felt and how I acted at their age. I tried my best to assure them that being an individual is the best thing they can do to prepare for life. As we went through the five topics of my presentation I continued to remind them that they are wonderful individuals and everything that they do can impact others. 

I made sure to take time to key in on all of the guidelines provided by BYBS to assure that the children grasped the whole picture our program is trying to display. I began with “Health”. Each topic came with a slide in my slideshow. As I popped up the topic of health I asked them if they could name different ways in which to stay healthy. The fifth graders raised their hands anxiously, “Exercise!” they yelled; “Eating fruits!” I heard. I was excited over the knowledge that the children already had on the subject, however I was even more excited to be able to share that keeping a clear mind and staying drug free can also be healthy. The children were so eager to learn and even more eager to share their knowledge with me. I made sure to let the students participate as much as possible. I felt as though it was very important to take in their ideas and give them a moment to prove themselves (build self esteem). 

I went through the same procedure for each topic, being involved, being studious, being ambitious, and being responsible. The fifth graders learned the definition of ambition, while discovering that they already had some inside.  I was very thrilled to teach a new word to the children; however it was the next topic that was the most personally rewarding.

 As the children were already fully aware, a sixth grade boy in their neighboring school had just committed suicide a week before. The suspected cause was in-school bullying. Being the third one in our county this year, the school systems cracked down on bullying policies. I took this opportunity to remind my audience that picking on others because of their looks or possessions is diminutive. I took this serious time to zero in on the fact that everyone has feelings and we cannot see into their lives. I asked them to practice “walking in their enemy’s shoes”.  I then told them, “Someone in this room may have a hard life at home. They may not have someone there that they can trust. Also, someone in this room picks on that one person.” It was sad to see the children turn and look at each other, knowing that I had made a good guess. I told them that the bully or bullies should change their ways; but I really focused on telling the children that if they are being picked on and there is no one at home to talk to, that they could find someone at school. I even went as far to tell them that if there was no one at school that they felt comfortable talking to, they can talk to me after the presentation and I will give them my phone number. I was very much upset by this topic. I really hoped that this serious time touched at least one child. Letting them know that they have a chance and they have someone in this world.

After I finished my five subjects I gave them each an activity. I gave all sixty students a piece of paper with the five subjects listed. I asked them to write one thing that they will do from each subject to be their best self. They then signed the paper, promising me that they will do their best to follow through. I proceeded to take each paper and staple them together creating a paper chain representing all the students coming together to be their best selves.  As I went around to staple the chain together, a young girl from the back row whispered up my name. “Jennifer. Miss Jennifer, may I please have your phone number?” My heart melted. She was obviously embarrassed to ask near other children, yet she was brave enough to reach for help. I leaned down and whispered my number to her and told her that she could call me anytime and that I was more than willing to talk to her if she needs.

As I left that classroom I found something within myself that told me that no matter what happens in Alabama at National Finals, I have been given this opportunity for a reason. If my reason was to only give that little girl hope, my mission is accomplished. I have found my best self.

Originally from Princeton, West Virginia,  Jennifer Pruett was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of West Virginia for 2012. She was the recipient of the Be Your Best Self Satellite Award at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals held June 2012 in Mobile, Alabama.

Flashback: National Be Your Best Self Week 2012 - Part 1

The series of posts over the next several days will feature essays on National Be Your Best Self Week 2012. These posts were the winning entries for the three Be Your Best Self Satellite Awards and Distinguished Outreach Award presented at the 55th Distinguished Young Women National Finals in June. National Be Your Best Self Week is a week-long outreach effort presented by Distinguished Young Women each spring. Participants at all levels of the program (local, state and national) engage in community outreach to share the positive message of the Be Your Best Self program. For more information, visit http://www.distinguishedyw.org/be_your_best_self/.

The idea of “Be Your Best Self” is so simple and almost elementary. Yet those four words hold the power to plant a seed in children that will forever transform them.  I have learned this lesson as I shared and celebrated the BYBS message with underprivileged children through my role as Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina.

One particular presentation was especially memorable for me.  I recently presented the BYBS message to about 50 elementary-school age children at the Boys and Girls Club in my community.  I wanted to make sure that the message would be fun for them and leave a personal and lingering impact.  So, I gave each child a handful of colorful play-doh and let them spend time molding it into something that represented what they wanted to become one day.  

            

As they worked with the play-doh, I walked around, talking with each child and listening to them talk about their dreams for the future. I marveled at the beautiful magnifying glass an aspiring chemist created and the pair of ballet shoes a future ballet teacher molded.  After they shared what they created, I then explained that we are a lot like play-doh.  We can become anything that we want to if we work hard and make good choices. The decisions we make each day help mold us into the person we become.  I then shared the five areas of decisions we make every day-- to be healthy, involved, studious, ambitious and responsible.  I asked the kids to help me come up with examples of good decisions we can make in each area.  I was amazed as they took over and gushed about how they take care of their younger sisters, try to defend a kid who gets made fun of or decide not to cheat on a test.  We also talked about mistakes.  I took a piece of play-doh and smashed it into a pancake between my hands.  I explained that we are all human and that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we mess up.  However, no matter how big the mistake is, it is never too late to start over to become something new -- just as you can mold smashed play-doh into a new creation.

Afterwards, I sat around with the kids laughing and talking and listening to how the message had inspired them. Kids ran up to me, touching and looking at my medallion and showing off their play-doh creations.  One little boy asked if they could please keep what they made.  When I told the children they could keep their creations, they squealed and ran off to their backpacks to put their treasures, reminders of their dreams, in a safe place.  

I then shared with them that my passion was performing.  I talked about what my dreams are and how hard I have worked and practiced.  Then I sang a special, inspirational song for them.  Afterwards, four little girls surrounded me, begging me to teach them to sing.  Long after all the other kids had run off to their other activities, I taught  those four little girls “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”, singing each phrase to them and then helping them sing it back and piece the phrases together.  It tugged at my heart to see the sense of accomplishment and joy swell up in them when we recorded them singing and then let them listen to their own performance.

When I talked to the executive director afterwards, he shared with me that these children came from very difficult and sad home lives.  He explained that one child had even come to the program one day with rope burn around his neck where he had been dragged through his yard.  Coming from homes where they are neglected, abused and certainly never encouraged to “be their best self”, some people would predict that these children will never reach their full potential.  I wish those people could have been there with me that day.  It was inspirational and reassuring to watch as these children joyfully and effortlessly latched onto the chance to be happy by working hard at something new.  The opportunity to explore in a safe place where they were encouraged and respected gave them solid ground to grow from.  That is something every child deserves to have.  I was so touched by my experience with the children at our Boys and Girls Club, that I plan to dedicate my next annual benefit concert’s proceeds and message to the club.  I want to come back and help those little girls prepare “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” as a choir to sing in the concert.

            

            Earlier this year through the Distinguished Young Women of North Carolina program, I had the privilege of joining a sister county representative to share the BYBS message with another very special group of children in a Greensboro underprivileged elementary school.

            

           We walked around as they worked with their play-doh, and my attention was drawn to a little boy who carefully crafted an intricate and colorful fruit cart.  It was a true piece of art -- not merely an elementary play-doh creation.  I complimented him on the beautiful sculpture and asked him if he wanted to be an artist.  He looked up at me with his brown eyes and said “Well, that would be really nice.  But I need to be a pro football player so that I can make a lot of money to send home to help my family.”  I was so touched by his maturity and giving heart far beyond his years that I sat and talked with him, trying to encourage him to be true to what he is passionate about and believe that he has something special to offer.  As we continued with our presentation, I noticed a new spark in him -- something that I think may have been the courage to believe in his own abilities and promise.

          The “Be Your Best Self” message is one that I have been blessed to witness and carry forth.  I believe that it has the power to transform the self-esteem and futures of young people everywhere. I watched it inspire hope, confidence, joy and dreams in children who are facing the most difficult of trials.  I know that I will be a life-long ambassador of this program, carrying it with me wherever I go and sharing a piece of it with whomever I meet.

Christina Maxwell is preparing to start her freshman year at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan majoring in musical theater. Originally from Asheville, North Carolina,  Christina was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Carolina for 2012 and the Distinguished Young Woman of America for 2012.

One Decade of Distinguished Young Women - by Amanda

Amanda Wineman is a student at Huntingdon College in Montgomery, Alabama majoring in Political Science with a minor in French. Originally from Cut Bank, Montana, Amanda was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Montana for 2011. Learn more about Amanda here!

And They Lived Happily Ever After - by Jacky

That’s how fairy tales are supposed to end, right? At least, that’s what I thought. I grew up watching the Disney princesses, like most other little girls, and hearing fairy tales that concluded in this manner. At the end of the story we are left with this statement and are somehow satisfied with it. These six little words could quite possibly be the most disappointing conclusion ever, and yet they have cemented themselves irreversibly into the cultural vocab. I use them myself, in fact, my Pinterest wedding board (come on, I’m sure you have one too) is entitled this very phrase. Why are we so satisfied with some greater power out there in the cosmic Disney/fairytale universe pulling the strings so that every story ends in the same way.  Everyone is always happy. And it’s always for ALWAYS.

I was never the kid who settled for the ending. I always wanted to know what happened next, and don’t even get me started on “cliff-hangers”. All I ever wanted to know was what happens after ‘ever after’? Is Cinderella happy when Prince Charming has his guy friends over for a SuperBowl party at the palace (and trust me, those boys probably don’t have a midnight curfew) and trashes the ballroom? What about when Jasmine notices Aladdin tracked a ton of mud across all the carpets? How about when Philip misses his date with Aurora because he took a nap? And I’m sure that Ariel won’t be feeling too delighted when Eric neglects that it’s his turn to pick the kids up from swimming lessons… Get the picture?

Our lives, like fairytales, continue to go on whether or not people are there to see it. Each new experience that we have and adventure that we take will bring new relationships (not just the romantic kind) into our lives. And, unfortunately, some of those relationships will end. Friends will drift apart as their interests change, or simply the separation of distance and time will change a friendship. Often times we say goodbye to people, and sometimes we come to understand we may never see those people again. Distinguished Young Women was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. The entire experience has had an incredible impact on the young woman I have become, and the woman I hope someday to be. Though it saddens me to say, I know that I may never see some of the girls I came to know over those two weeks again. And I know that I will never see all 50 of us together. This is a heavy thought to cope with, and unfortunately, a reality that doesn’t just apply to Distinguished Young Women Nationals, but to many of the endings in our lives.

Performing as a "Has Been" at Community Night for Distinguished Young Women National Finals this year!

This is not meant to be depressing, but rather I would like to share how I have come to understand the meaning of living “happily ever after.” Life stops for no one. Time does not slow down. Every second in our future soon becomes our past. As the saying goes “every day is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present”. I will not tell you that every moment of every day will be happy. In fact, I can promise you the opposite. There will disappointments and letdowns. There will be obstacles and many, many, many bumps in the road. Sometimes you’ll feel angry, sometimes heartbroken, and other times you won’t be able to feel anything at all. My two beautiful sisters Katye Brock and Kinsey Crow have already referenced a verse from the same chapter, now I will use Ecclesiastes 3:1, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

Just like the unchanging seasons, transitioning from fall, to winter, to spring, and to summer, only to begin the cycle again, the pattern of life is no different. We will rise to new heights and accomplishments, to new levels of happiness, love, and fulfillment, only to plummet to lows of disappointment, hurt, and sadness. But just as I promised that those valleys would appear from time to time, I will make you another promise. I will promise you that after those valleys you will rise again. Things will always get better, and nothing is permanent except the very fact that nothing is permanent!  “Happily ever after” is not a promise that everything will always be awesome all the time, but rather an encouragement to view happiness as a cumulative, rather than incidental, outlook on your life.

So thank you. Thank you to my family and friends for setting me on the right course. Thank you to my Distinguished Young Women sisters for truly becoming family and inspiring me with your integrity, intelligence, talent, and love. And thank you Distinguished Young Women for being a beacon for young women brimming with potential in a broken world that is constantly trying to tell us that we are inadequate. Go out there and take on the world my friends.

God Bless, and I hope you ALL live happily ever after. I know that I plan to!


Jacky Arness is a student at Bethel University in St. Paul, Minnesota majoring in Political Science/International Relations with a minor in Theatre Arts. Originally from Fargo, North Dakota, Jacky was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of North Dakota for 2011. Learn more about Jacky here!

Distinguished Always - by Sydney

First off, I would like to give a huge thank you to all the wonderful people that are a part of Distinguished Young Women, special shout out to Bob McClory, my Fabulous Fenton Family, and of course all of Mobile, and the gracious hospitality I was lucky enough to receive while there for National Finals last summer.

I will be honest, I am a very busy person! I will be playing two college sports and taking 16 credits next semester, my only sister is getting married next month, and I have spent my summer working three jobs, including interning in Alaska’s Governor’s Office. A day in the life of a has-been right?

However, despite my chaotic lie, there isn’t one day that I don’t think of my experiences as the Distinguished Young Woman of Alaska for 2011. It was an absolute honor to represent my state, and it truly is a life changing experience. The title will stick with me for the rest of my life, and I am proud of it.

Often, if I am nervous about something, or feel-ill prepared, I think to myself “If you can dance in the front row at National Finals in heels, you can do this!”  (I had to be front row, darn alphabetical order. AND I had no dance experience before Distinguished Young Women) Or, if I feel the jitters before a college presentation, I remember that I won interview at the state and national levels.
 

Now is my time to pass on the same confidence to all of you readers; we are all very distinguished young women, at the core of our beings. Everyone has a God given talent, to be used for a purpose.

Einstein once said:
“Everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing it’s stupid.”

Sometimes we just need that little reminder that we are special, and that will give us the confidence to do things we never imagined.  

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. – Isaiah 61:1
 

Xoxo,

Sydney 


Sydney McIntosh is a student at Nyack College in Nyack, New York. Originally from North Pole, Alaska, Sydney was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Alaska for 2011. Learn more about Sydney here!

Distinguished Has a Name, and that Name is Becky Jo - by Veronica

When someone steps up to a large, seemingly impossible task, the true effects of their hard work and spirit get passed down to each person involved. However, this magical effect does not get weaker with each person it touches, but instead grows stronger and burns brighter in each person nearby. Some people never realize or ever get to witness how much their efforts have affected others. However, when you are Becky Jo Peterson, you get to step back and smile, looking at a program you worked your distinguished ways on and forever transformed. But just seeing all of your hard work made successful is one thing. Having touched the lives of girls all across the nation is something this woman should be proud of for the rest of her life. There is no amount of gratitude that could ever be expressed to the one and only Becky Jo Peterson.
 

Becky Jo with all of the Has Beens before National Finals.

How does one even become distinguished, or know what being distinguished entails? Well, all of us have role models and inspirations that motivate us to truly be our best selves every day. And I know I am speaking for each and every participant in the Distinguished Young Women program when I say that Becky Jo’s selflessness, upbeat attitude, and extremely hard working mentality is something that inspires us all to be the Distinguished Young Women we truly want to be. Leaving behind all of her family and friends in California to step up and be the Executive Director of this phenomenal program certainly took lots of thought and most definitely a little bit of bravery. Thinking about what would have happened if this program folded absolutely breaks my heart. If this one individual had never stepped up, I would not have gotten many chances that have changed my life. I wouldn’t have been able to represent my state and all of the people in it that I love and live for. I wouldn’t have been able to come to Mobile and find my home away from home, the girls that will be my lifelong friends and undoubtedly, bridesmaids, the volunteers and employees that work so hard to change lives, or a city filled with people holding so much compassion for all of us. I wouldn’t have been able to grow, learn, or be touched by each and every magical experience and opportunity within this program. I wouldn’t be a Distinguished Young Woman without you, Becky Jo. 

Becky Jo lights up a room. Her spirit, fun and vibrant personality, and passion for this program shines through every time she speaks and smiles.  I just recently returned to Mobile to participate as a Has-Been, which was absolutely the best week of my life. Being reunited with some of my Distinguished sisters, being out in the community and being touched by citizens of Mobile, and being big sisters to the current contestants all combined for a life-changing experience that only Distinguished Young Women knows how to provide. One day during our stay in Mobile for this second time around, we had the extreme joy of having lunch with Becky Jo in the lovely National Headquarters building. It was awesome having a meal with Becky Jo (even cooked by Becky Jo!) in a historic building that held so much of the program inside of it. It was during this meal that I realized something – your time as a Distinguished Young Woman never runs out.

Lunch at National Headquarters with Becky Jo and the Has Beens.

Sure, you may have to pass the torch onto the next wonderful girl within your state, but you will ALWAYS be a Has-Been. With this program, that is all you need. There is always an opportunity to keep giving at some level, whether it is in the form of a volunteer, a sponsor, a host family, a choreographer, and so much more. Becky Jo has demonstrated this for us and sets the example that just because you aren’t wearing that medallion anymore, there is still so much you can give to this program. Besides all of the other wonderful things I have learned from Becky Jo, the biggest is certainly this. Just like she gave up her life at home to come to Mobile and transform this program, I know that I will never want to stop giving back to the program and people that have given me so very much. I’m speaking for each and every Distinguished Young Woman in the nation when I say thank you, Becky Jo Peterson, for showing us what a true distinguished individual really is, and that we too can touch and inspire lives just like you have done for us. 


Veronica Townsend is a student at the University of Delaware in Newark, Delaware majoring in Fashion Merchandising. Originally from Dagsboro, Delaware, Veronica was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Delaware for 2011. Learn more about Veronica here!

Moving On - by Devin

One of my favorite quotes is from Robert Frost and it goes like this: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.”  As I write my final blog post for Distinguished Young Women, I can’t help but think that this chapter of my life is coming to a close.  But I know in my heart its underlying themes will be prevalent throughout the rest of the pages of my life.       
    

Distinguished Young Women friends!

All sappy book metaphors aside, I decided to use this last post to reflect upon the year of my life post-Distinguished Young Women.  I’ve moved to a different state and made an entirely different group of friends than I had in high school.  I traded in small town Oklahoma for big city Texas.  I’ve learned material in college that I didn’t even know existed in high school.  I’ve been challenged - physically, mentally, and spiritually, but I have grown so much because of it.    
    

SMU friends!

I left the National Finals last summer with a feeling of utter amazement—it took a while to digest the experience with which I’d been blessed.  However, it didn’t take long to observe its after effects.  I became so much more confident with who I was and what I wanted out of life.  Distinguished Young Women showed me that, in fact, I wasn’t unusual; there are actually girls from all over the country (at least one from every state, in fact) who are interested in the similar things that I am and who strive for greatness for both themselves and the rest of the world.  For the opportunity to compete with young women of that caliber of character, I am forever grateful.
    

I’ve still got a long way to go. I still have moments when I think that the obstacle I’m facing is insurmountable.  But that’s what I thought when I entered the Distinguished Young Women program at my local level (when it was still called Junior Miss), but I worked hard, and won.  I worked even harder to prepare for my state program. And I won.  A year later from that initial decision to try my hand at this little competition in my hometown, I was preparing for the National Finals in Mobile.  Two weeks later, while I wasn’t wearing a medal after the confetti dropped from the ceiling, I left with a new sense of self and the world around me (with 49 new friends to boot). I had won.

Thanks, Distinguished Young Women. 

Devin Kerns is a student at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas majoring in Communications Studies with a minor in Italian. Originally from Stillwater, Oklahoma, Devin was a participant in the Distinguished Young Women program and was selected as the Distinguished Young Woman of Oklahoma for 2011. Learn more about Devin here!